[ this wasn't just about being forgiven, but it was about offering her the truth. each time a lie was told, it was like stripping someone of choice—in the same way, when he lied to himself, he did the same thing. looking out and taking responsibility could be terrifying, being forgiven and knowing he can't trust himself not to do it again was moreso. ]

Talk? I'm not sure talk would really do much of anything ...

[ no, he'd start filling in blanks and diverting blame. this was his. ]

I know it's not much, I've done a lot to hurt you. I can't say that I may not hurt you in the future. I want to try ... you're the only friend that I've ever had, and you stuck by me even though ... ah—well, I did something awful to you. So, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get mixed up. I can be terrible for people.