[His throat tightens and constricts, making it difficult for a moment for Jason to find air. He hates this. He absolutely hates this.]
Of course, [he manages, forcing the words out while he struggles to drag air into hid windpipe.]
But how can we win when Death wants us dead? I—[can't. He can't. He's died before. He's been at the mercy of death. And he's felt like he has been since he got here, like he's waiting for some opportunity for it to happen to him again.]
Death wants everyone dead. The worst part? It happens to everyone, eventually.
If that's the case, then we buy ourselves time. The Shuck, whether he likes it or not, is still bound by the rules of this world. We, most fortunately, have a little leeway. Just like every other god here, he must have an Avatar.
I don't know if it was clear before, but we're keeping as far away from the Shuck as we can. I've skipped out on the "I told you so" about not dealing with him, but here it is: I told you so. We're not touching his Avatar, and apparently, there are populations who might be after him anyway—on both sides. For instance, the vampires want the Hart dead for good.
[This information comes out in a rush, but one thing is clear from the swell of emotion in Jason's voice: he isn't dealing with the Shuck. Oh, he can't ignore him as a factor, but Loki's words come too close to what they had referenced before. He isn't touching that.]
As for the Red Hand—[his tone levels out here]—Clarke is looking into it. [He waves a hand in the air uncertainly.] They used to have a goal against the Cult that was personal, but I don't think that sticks now. Basically, we're waiting on more information, but it's obvious from the commander's recruitment statement that they want people and they want them on all sides. They think that either side winning is bad, so I take it as a ... subtle statement.
Loki kept himself at a distance for a reason. he knew death, and he knew what he had done, and he wasn't willing to risk one or the other for a bad brush with a grim-like deity. but he knew if the Shuck went, the Hart wasn't too far behind. there needed to be balance, even if it was bought with time. ]
No, the end closing in nearer is being backed with desperation. And this John Grimm fellow?
[Jason doesn't care if he's dictating their association with the Shuck. He doesn't want any of them to get killed. If it's a mandate, then it's a mandate.
(And he doesn't even know what happened to Hiro yet.)]
He's not been very forthcoming. So, he's recruiting without spilling the beans. She thinks it's because he needs shardbearers for a specific goal. Maybe to create diversions. I'll let you know as soon as she's gotten back to me.
[ Loki tips his head to the side like one would utilize a shrug. he doesn't disagree. John has been anything but forthcoming, instead starting posts with the rhetorical before diving into the shameless recruitment.
and there's a moment where he stills before saying: ]
Two things. I'll go in the order of what I like. I heard about Avatars from Harry's friend. She wanted my help with the Cult, but as you can guess, I've kept from digging into them even with what we've been doing. [The fact of the matter is that while Jason has heard rumors, he doesn't want to be on their radar. He knows better than to do that.]
But she said that all gods, even gods like yourself, will require an avatar. Older gods, from the age of Dadga, can take multiple avatars, but anyone after that cannot.
I've got Clarke looking into what that means.
When you kill the Avatar, you can either absorb the power into a god, or grant that power to the Avatar. Given the Cult's rumored ties to raising a god, I think that might give us an idea of what they're doing. Maybe.
[ "Harry's friend": Linn. she had been mentioned, as he recalls, when he gave Harry the memory of the battle before his sister was claimed. somehow, the association doesn't surprise him. ]
Dadga—the father, yes? Birthed the gods, all the things. Something of an All-Father. [ he would assume that would me those gods bore direction of him, rather than those that bore others. that's the easier to part to focus on.
the other one, not so much. Loki draws his fingers back through his hair, letting it fall in a wave to the side between anxious fingertips.
the other part is that he needs an Avatar. that part he doesn't say anything about. ] Though I wonder ... if the mother is here, can the father be far behind?
[The fact that Loki doesn't mention his need of an Avatar doesn't surprise Jason. But he does take note of it. The very necessity of Avatars frustrates him, and he hopes it doesn't come to subsume both his and Ariadne's usefulness in this world.
He doesn't dwell on the lack of mention, though.]
I'd be surprised, honestly. The letter made it sound like he was a done deal. The mother ... less so.
A mother's letter to ... someone. [He'll check with Clarke on that. It hadn't been clear who it was to.] Unfortunately for our purposes, Morla hopes to keep it a secret, and it's been hidden again.
All Clarke had that was left of it was a note about the Void. The Void's potential corporeality, and how it may not have had anything more than a fuzzy face.
[The pointed look he's giving Loki is ... meaningful for a reason.]
it's getting more and more difficult for him to take news with any semblance of grace. while Morla's trapped she's also very Morla, so he couldn't hope for anything more than that. for a moment he watches him, Jason's expression, the movement of his lips as the words are shaped, and then the inevitable sound that follows it. Loki leans against the wall, shoulders first, and then his head rolls back to look at the ceiling.
he's not sure if it's bitterness or relief that rolls his head back, green eyes back on Jason. this time it's with something harsh and more dangerous. his lips hook up at the end and he snorts out as if he were standing right before him: ] Martin Maskmaker.
You were following the lead anyway, right? [They may have missed the obvious, but the answer is there and very present.]
We were just careful. Not such a bad thing all in all. Now we have our missing peace. The letter talked about whether he had a face at all, or whether she knew his face once. Very tricky.
[He cants his head to the side.]
Given that we know the identity of our letter writer, and that prayer is necessary, perhaps we should see what she has to say.
A place to start. I've means of looking into that Damrtin fellow, the one mentioned in link.
[ it seems that many of his goals lately have begun and ended with "invoke such and such god." it's laughable to an extent, that a god finds himself summoning other gods for information. he's done worse and better, and he's found himself in scenarios where he's needed to be more than convincing. he'd just have to be extra convincing in this one. ]
So they're familiar. [ he rubs the side of his neck. ] I suppose if I were the very first shardbearer ever, that I'd make a few contacts of my own, including that of certain mother goddesses.
That's not really the angle I was taking on it. I don't necessarily read that line as being in association with one another, so much as knowledge of what is and what will be. [Jason has always wanted to be careful. He didn't want to assume the nature of the cycle. He doesn't want to assume this, either. The connection is there, but it may just be knowledge of one another.
He wants to use caution, more than anything. Caution is important.]
Either way. [ he was getting anxious. they were both running out of time and on the heels of something. it was obvious in the little ways he'd shift, even though he managed to keep himself looking more as if it were a normal part of how he generally holds himself. the details were there to anyone who knew him well enough. ]
Something should be put into play. Has Ariadne made the prayer?
[ there's a pause as the conversation ends, and for a moment Loki stops, as if there's something mulling over in his head. it's an odd look to his face, one that's not conniving or scheming or downright smug, instead he looks like he's having a difficult time expressing something. ]
...
Thank you.
[ a little out of place, but how does anyone lead up to that? ]
I'm ... not used to anyone standing with me. Perhaps I'm just ... terrible at it, but ... my memories are messed up. I can't tell if ...
[The words catch Jason off-guard. It's not as if it's the first time he's heard these words in recent history, but his handling of them never gets any easier. He brings a hand up to rub over his cheek awkwardly, the stubble under his hand a reminder of the stupid crap Loki said around when they first met. It's always a reminder.
He drops his hand after a moment, stuffing it into his pocket.]
We're all fucked if we screw this up, right? [That's not a dismissal at all. Jason breathes out.] Just you a little more than the rest of us, probably.
But we're in it together, and all that cheesy garbage. So, uh, you're welcome.
[ Loki's expression softens. it doesn't suit him, and looks like something private, something no one's really meant to see. his emotions always come in waves, strike him hard, complex and overflowing, and explanations for why get mixed up when they spill over. it's strange, really, being felt like he's worth something. this me that he's made. ]
I will take all your garbage in all of its cheesy glory, Mister Todd. [ said in the fondest way possible. ] And even if I'm screwed, there's no place that I'd rather be.
[ he steps away from the wall and heads toward the door. ]
Don't wear yourself too thin, I'm planning a victory party.
[The mention of a victory party hits Jason hard, because he doesn't think there will be any victory party. They have the pieces, but none of the means. That much has been clear for a while. Will Loki find Martin Maskmaker? That may be possible. Will he be able to do anything about him? Will Jason win, or will they all die trying, going out in a blaze of something far from glory?
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Of course, [he manages, forcing the words out while he struggles to drag air into hid windpipe.]
But how can we win when Death wants us dead? I—[can't. He can't. He's died before. He's been at the mercy of death. And he's felt like he has been since he got here, like he's waiting for some opportunity for it to happen to him again.]
What can we do?
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If that's the case, then we buy ourselves time. The Shuck, whether he likes it or not, is still bound by the rules of this world. We, most fortunately, have a little leeway. Just like every other god here, he must have an Avatar.
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Moreso, I meant that a hand could be played with the Avatar business, less that of its use to him.
[ he rubs the back of his neck, his fingers pressing against the hairs at the nape. ]
What's the rest that you have? Let's hear that. The Red Hand?
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[This information comes out in a rush, but one thing is clear from the swell of emotion in Jason's voice: he isn't dealing with the Shuck. Oh, he can't ignore him as a factor, but Loki's words come too close to what they had referenced before. He isn't touching that.]
As for the Red Hand—[his tone levels out here]—Clarke is looking into it. [He waves a hand in the air uncertainly.] They used to have a goal against the Cult that was personal, but I don't think that sticks now. Basically, we're waiting on more information, but it's obvious from the commander's recruitment statement that they want people and they want them on all sides. They think that either side winning is bad, so I take it as a ... subtle statement.
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it's easier to catch it this time.
Loki kept himself at a distance for a reason. he knew death, and he knew what he had done, and he wasn't willing to risk one or the other for a bad brush with a grim-like deity. but he knew if the Shuck went, the Hart wasn't too far behind. there needed to be balance, even if it was bought with time. ]
No, the end closing in nearer is being backed with desperation. And this John Grimm fellow?
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(And he doesn't even know what happened to Hiro yet.)]
He's not been very forthcoming. So, he's recruiting without spilling the beans. She thinks it's because he needs shardbearers for a specific goal. Maybe to create diversions. I'll let you know as soon as she's gotten back to me.
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[ Loki tips his head to the side like one would utilize a shrug. he doesn't disagree. John has been anything but forthcoming, instead starting posts with the rhetorical before diving into the shameless recruitment.
and there's a moment where he stills before saying: ]
I suppose that just leaves the last thing.
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But she said that all gods, even gods like yourself, will require an avatar. Older gods, from the age of Dadga, can take multiple avatars, but anyone after that cannot.
I've got Clarke looking into what that means.
When you kill the Avatar, you can either absorb the power into a god, or grant that power to the Avatar. Given the Cult's rumored ties to raising a god, I think that might give us an idea of what they're doing. Maybe.
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Dadga—the father, yes? Birthed the gods, all the things. Something of an All-Father. [ he would assume that would me those gods bore direction of him, rather than those that bore others. that's the easier to part to focus on.
the other one, not so much. Loki draws his fingers back through his hair, letting it fall in a wave to the side between anxious fingertips.
the other part is that he needs an Avatar. that part he doesn't say anything about. ] Though I wonder ... if the mother is here, can the father be far behind?
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He doesn't dwell on the lack of mention, though.]
I'd be surprised, honestly. The letter made it sound like he was a done deal. The mother ... less so.
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[ that bit definitely has his attention now. ]
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All Clarke had that was left of it was a note about the Void. The Void's potential corporeality, and how it may not have had anything more than a fuzzy face.
[The pointed look he's giving Loki is ... meaningful for a reason.]
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it's getting more and more difficult for him to take news with any semblance of grace. while Morla's trapped she's also very Morla, so he couldn't hope for anything more than that. for a moment he watches him, Jason's expression, the movement of his lips as the words are shaped, and then the inevitable sound that follows it. Loki leans against the wall, shoulders first, and then his head rolls back to look at the ceiling.
he's not sure if it's bitterness or relief that rolls his head back, green eyes back on Jason. this time it's with something harsh and more dangerous. his lips hook up at the end and he snorts out as if he were standing right before him: ] Martin Maskmaker.
We missed the obvious.
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We were just careful. Not such a bad thing all in all. Now we have our missing peace. The letter talked about whether he had a face at all, or whether she knew his face once. Very tricky.
[He cants his head to the side.]
Given that we know the identity of our letter writer, and that prayer is necessary, perhaps we should see what she has to say.
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[ it seems that many of his goals lately have begun and ended with "invoke such and such god." it's laughable to an extent, that a god finds himself summoning other gods for information. he's done worse and better, and he's found himself in scenarios where he's needed to be more than convincing. he'd just have to be extra convincing in this one. ]
So they're familiar. [ he rubs the side of his neck. ] I suppose if I were the very first shardbearer ever, that I'd make a few contacts of my own, including that of certain mother goddesses.
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He wants to use caution, more than anything. Caution is important.]
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Something should be put into play. Has Ariadne made the prayer?
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I'll be seeing her soon. I'll ask her.
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[ he ruffles his hair and then promptly fixes it, tossing it to the side. ]
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...
Thank you.
[ a little out of place, but how does anyone lead up to that? ]
I'm ... not used to anyone standing with me. Perhaps I'm just ... terrible at it, but ... my memories are messed up. I can't tell if ...
Ah, regardless ...
I wouldn't have gotten this far without you.
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He drops his hand after a moment, stuffing it into his pocket.]
We're all fucked if we screw this up, right? [That's not a dismissal at all. Jason breathes out.] Just you a little more than the rest of us, probably.
But we're in it together, and all that cheesy garbage. So, uh, you're welcome.
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I will take all your garbage in all of its cheesy glory, Mister Todd. [ said in the fondest way possible. ] And even if I'm screwed, there's no place that I'd rather be.
[ he steps away from the wall and heads toward the door. ]
Don't wear yourself too thin, I'm planning a victory party.
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He grants Loki a stiff nod.]
I'll see what I can do.
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