[ if it's something that Loki knows, it's debt. he works in debts, both metaphysical and metaphorical. most of it can't be weighed, but only by the value that it has—but that's the way that all debt works, on perceived value. ]
The better you can protect yourself the more useful you are. It has nothing to do with trust in them, but trust in their ambitions. There's a difference.
[ speaking as someone who manipulates the goat dung out of most people. ]
How is this not to their advantage? Right now, it's just to yours too.
[ so at least they're in agreement about this — only Loki looks at this from the perspective of someone with more detachment, an in-built understanding of the mechanics of manipulating others, balancing debts one way and the other.
Stiles sighs, rakes his hand through his hair. ]
So... they gave this to me because it benefits them, but it just happens to benefit me at the same time. That, I can get that.
[ and if they want him to be able to do this, then it likely won't backfire on him either, too badly at least. it isn't quite like a weight off his shoulders, but the intense pressure inside his chest lets off just a little. ]
And you... uh, will you — we'll keep training, right? Because honestly, I don't even know where to start with this. And I'd rather keep working with someone... [ someone he trusts, someone he would call a friend ] ... someone like you.
[ he's far too good at this, and it should be a warning. he would see it as a warning. instead Stiles seems to take it as some form of comfort, and Loki ignores that he might have given it.
then it comes, the someone like you part that gives him pause. his insides stop, but thoughts continuing to twist inside of his head like a knot of writhing vipers. it's dangerous, to be where he is, and the satisfaction that the connection brings digs up as much fear as it does solace. ]
Well, I can't exactly allow you to run rampant with these new abilities, can I? That would be utterly and completely irresponsible of me.
[ the little smirk on his lips just screams hi, I'm irresponsible. ]
[ a warning — maybe, but Stiles has dealt with those just as good, and he trusts his instincts; with Loki, he doesn't feel it, the strange feeling like something cold trickling down his spine, that something bugs me but I can't name what it is he gets with people, sometimes.
with Loki, he knows he's dealing with a trickster, irresponsible and fickle and complex; what matters is he also knows he's dealing with someone who isn't evil. for better or worse, he's placed his trust in him. ]
Right, because you're all about responsible.
[ his voice, though, no longer carries that tightness, the wry sarcasm seeping in again. ]
... so, what do I start with? What do we start with?
[ there's a pause, because of course there's a catch. ]
Which means you'll need to find better ways to focus.
[ if Stiles' panic had said anything, it's that his emotions aren't entirely under his control. while Loki was a slave to his own whims and desperations, he knew how to weave himself through a spell. he had already made the fatal mistake of manifesting his own guilty conscious. ]
The runes I taught you, there's dagaz. Use that. See how long you can keep your thoughts clear. No straying.
Hey, I can focus! [ his initial indignation fades like a stroke of lightning, though, as he amends, ] ... sometimes.
[ Loki has been teaching him a while now — no use trying to deny what he already knows. his focus is a fickle thing, coming and going; sometimes, he can focus for hours on end, his mind sharp... other times, managing half an hour feels like an accomplishment. ]
Dagaz, yeah. Hyper-consciousness, [ he only takes a second to shift through the different meanings in his head ] okay, I can do that.
[ a considering pause. ] How long should I be able to keep my thoughts clear? Just for reference.
[ eyebrows go up while his expression changes through the sudden exclamation of I can focus! and on to sometimes. Stiles had the attention span of a goldfish, all the while somehow still able obsess over the smallest detail when something caught his eye. thoughts moved from one to another, became a spiral that was hard to draw back from.
Loki knew how that was, but his was expressed. when he got bored, he schemed.
teaching him wasn't like teaching Billy Kaplan. ]
Oh ... I don't know. [ a pause, a consideration. then: ] How long do you want to be able to protect yourself?
[ excuse you, his attention span covers at least two goldfish. maybe three. no — his focus is fleeting at times, at others steady as a rock. he can only hope it is the latter, with this.
it shouldn't surprise him, Loki turning it around once again (it seems to be what he does, always, twist words and thoughts and spin them around until you were dizzy simply from trying to follow), and yet it gives him pause. because... that's the question, isn't it? ]
... right. So I practice until I can clear them all the time. [ he won't, he won't let himself be vulnerable, not when he has an actual chance of making this work. when he has something more than the knowledge of runes and the inner workings of magic on his side. ]
Thanks.
[ because intending or not, Loki managed to calm him down, give him a goal, make sense of this. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ if it's something that Loki knows, it's debt. he works in debts, both metaphysical and metaphorical. most of it can't be weighed, but only by the value that it has—but that's the way that all debt works, on perceived value. ]
The better you can protect yourself the more useful you are. It has nothing to do with trust in them, but trust in their ambitions. There's a difference.
[ speaking as someone who manipulates the goat dung out of most people. ]
How is this not to their advantage? Right now, it's just to yours too.
no subject
[ so at least they're in agreement about this — only Loki looks at this from the perspective of someone with more detachment, an in-built understanding of the mechanics of manipulating others, balancing debts one way and the other.
Stiles sighs, rakes his hand through his hair. ]
So... they gave this to me because it benefits them, but it just happens to benefit me at the same time. That, I can get that.
[ and if they want him to be able to do this, then it likely won't backfire on him either, too badly at least. it isn't quite like a weight off his shoulders, but the intense pressure inside his chest lets off just a little. ]
And you... uh, will you — we'll keep training, right? Because honestly, I don't even know where to start with this. And I'd rather keep working with someone... [ someone he trusts, someone he would call a friend ] ... someone like you.
no subject
then it comes, the someone like you part that gives him pause. his insides stop, but thoughts continuing to twist inside of his head like a knot of writhing vipers. it's dangerous, to be where he is, and the satisfaction that the connection brings digs up as much fear as it does solace. ]
Well, I can't exactly allow you to run rampant with these new abilities, can I? That would be utterly and completely irresponsible of me.
[ the little smirk on his lips just screams hi, I'm irresponsible. ]
no subject
with Loki, he knows he's dealing with a trickster, irresponsible and fickle and complex; what matters is he also knows he's dealing with someone who isn't evil. for better or worse, he's placed his trust in him. ]
Right, because you're all about responsible.
[ his voice, though, no longer carries that tightness, the wry sarcasm seeping in again. ]
... so, what do I start with? What do we start with?
no subject
[ there's a pause, because of course there's a catch. ]
Which means you'll need to find better ways to focus.
[ if Stiles' panic had said anything, it's that his emotions aren't entirely under his control. while Loki was a slave to his own whims and desperations, he knew how to weave himself through a spell. he had already made the fatal mistake of manifesting his own guilty conscious. ]
The runes I taught you, there's dagaz. Use that. See how long you can keep your thoughts clear. No straying.
no subject
[ Loki has been teaching him a while now — no use trying to deny what he already knows. his focus is a fickle thing, coming and going; sometimes, he can focus for hours on end, his mind sharp... other times, managing half an hour feels like an accomplishment. ]
Dagaz, yeah. Hyper-consciousness, [ he only takes a second to shift through the different meanings in his head ] okay, I can do that.
[ a considering pause. ] How long should I be able to keep my thoughts clear? Just for reference.
no subject
Loki knew how that was, but his was expressed. when he got bored, he schemed.
teaching him wasn't like teaching Billy Kaplan. ]
Oh ... I don't know. [ a pause, a consideration. then: ] How long do you want to be able to protect yourself?
[ because that was key here. ]
no subject
it shouldn't surprise him, Loki turning it around once again (it seems to be what he does, always, twist words and thoughts and spin them around until you were dizzy simply from trying to follow), and yet it gives him pause. because... that's the question, isn't it? ]
... right. So I practice until I can clear them all the time. [ he won't, he won't let himself be vulnerable, not when he has an actual chance of making this work. when he has something more than the knowledge of runes and the inner workings of magic on his side. ]
Thanks.
[ because intending or not, Loki managed to calm him down, give him a goal, make sense of this. ]
no subject
It's as the mortals say: Fake it until you make it.
no subject
[ finally, that draws a grin from him as well, accompanying words that should sound annoyed but really, really don't.
(besides — he's got a point. as he seems wont to do.) ]