[ Is he testing her? Is she going to have to tell it all to him in order for him to get her to use it? For a minute, Rey almost backs off, gets defensive, but —
If she doesn't do it now, while she has the nerve, she won't do it. How many times had she almost left Jakku and decided to stay? ]
Something Hayame said made me realize I'd been seeing things wrong.
I can come to your room if that's easier. I don't want to put you out.
[ No. That's a partial lie too, isn't it? ]
I'd also prefer your room because I've been staying with Ben.
[ Better. She feels better with that in the open. If Loki's going to judge her for it, let him. She's trying hard to dig her heels in on this because her instinct is to run — and she knows that's the same instinct that rooted her to Jakku. ]
[ An understatement. It seems as though she comes right there from already inside the hotel, like perhaps she had to been ready to do anything else before this after her conversation with Hayame. She'd been afraid of losing her nerve. When she reaches his room, she hesitates for a moment to work herself up to it, then knocks. ]
[ whatever he's doing, he takes his sweet time. there's some obvious shuffling, and then the door creeks open. Loki's on the other side, wearing a dark green shirt and his shiny black pants. his hair is tossed half to the side, an artful unkempt that screams that he was really just lounging around not doing anything that he probably should be doing.
he looks her up and down for a moment, then asks: ]
...
You're sure you want to do this? I did say it was always on the table, but it's a sort of you can never go back thing, so I have to be sure.
[ Truthfully, she starts considering turning away around the moment he opens the door. But then the door's open and she can't pull herself away. Not easily, at least. She straightens her shoulders and draws a deep breath. ]
I thought if I didn't come now, I might not come.
[ There's nothing to hide anymore. Loki knows about their connection — Keith had relayed that much — and Rey can see the way her perception had been twisted, just as he had warned her it might be. That dream was starting to make sense, solidify.
She comes inside then, making her choice firmly, trying to make herself comfortable in a room where she knows she won't be able to be truly comfortable. ]
I want to do this. I want to trust myself. Please.
[ while her secrets may be something to gain him the upper-hand, he hasn't used it yet. perhaps he just hasn't had the opportunity, but he hasn't, nonetheless. ]
It's not like I can't see the draw.
[ running his hands back through his hair (it falls over his temples perfectly, btw), he crosses the room to the sword that's leaning very un-perilously against one of the hotel walls. it doesn't look like much, even when he grabs it by the neck and pulls it from its sheath.
there's a golden gleam of a sharp edge, and he weighs it in his hand before turning toward her, the blade pointed at the floor. ]
Be forewarned, it will hurt ... But the closer you become to accepting whatever it is, the less the sword can affect you. [ a pause. ] It's interesting, isn't it? The sword draws out the truth, breaks falsehoods, and draws out corruption, but it's still considered a curse.
[ with a wave of his free hand, he offers it to her. ]
[ Seeing it held out there like that stalls her a little. The picture he paints of fragility makes her both more determined and more aware of her own vulnerability. She might not be ready. She didn't feel ready on the Viridian Sea when Kylo turned her to the truth of her parents. But she had survived it. Right? In many ways it felt like that had been the start of all this spiraling she was doing. ]
Just a second.
[ There was Ben to consider, after all. She had felt it from him. She touches her Magitek and it glows as she silently sends him a warning text. It wouldn't do for him to interrupt them, and she chooses to believe he would. Maybe she's wrong. Maybe she's lying to herself.
All the more reason to put a stop to it. Rey reached out to take the sword in hand. She sort of expected something instantaneous. A revelation. But Ben had been injured when she'd found him -- faintly, but injured. She turned the blade over in her hand. ]
You don't have to be here for this if you don't want to. You don't owe me anything.
[ Which is to say -- she could use someone probably. But Loki isn't obligated to do that, and she'll do it anyway. In fact, she raises her other arm and drags the blade along it -- a little deeper than necessary. It draws a trickling stream of blood that rolls down her pale skin, gathering in the rolled up sleeves of her jacket. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
there's a silence, but it doesn't settle because of the text. ]
Why the change in heart?
no subject
If she doesn't do it now, while she has the nerve, she won't do it. How many times had she almost left Jakku and decided to stay? ]
Something Hayame said made me realize I'd been seeing things wrong.
no subject
If you feel that you're ready.
Learning the truth can be a harrowing experience, and sometimes the lies are better.
Sometimes we need both to sustain us.
Did you have a preference on where?
no subject
[ No. That's a partial lie too, isn't it? ]
I'd also prefer your room because I've been staying with Ben.
[ Better. She feels better with that in the open. If Loki's going to judge her for it, let him. She's trying hard to dig her heels in on this because her instinct is to run — and she knows that's the same instinct that rooted her to Jakku. ]
no subject
[ being somewhere uncomfortable while being bombarded with truths you don't want to admit, and accepting that pain, that's worse. ]
Why don't you meet me there?
no subject
[ An understatement. It seems as though she comes right there from already inside the hotel, like perhaps she had to been ready to do anything else before this after her conversation with Hayame. She'd been afraid of losing her nerve. When she reaches his room, she hesitates for a moment to work herself up to it, then knocks. ]
no subject
he looks her up and down for a moment, then asks: ]
...
You're sure you want to do this? I did say it was always on the table, but it's a sort of you can never go back thing, so I have to be sure.
[ and he makes a long gesture to the room. ]
no subject
I thought if I didn't come now, I might not come.
[ There's nothing to hide anymore. Loki knows about their connection — Keith had relayed that much — and Rey can see the way her perception had been twisted, just as he had warned her it might be. That dream was starting to make sense, solidify.
She comes inside then, making her choice firmly, trying to make herself comfortable in a room where she knows she won't be able to be truly comfortable. ]
I want to do this. I want to trust myself. Please.
no subject
It's not like I can't see the draw.
[ running his hands back through his hair (it falls over his temples perfectly, btw), he crosses the room to the sword that's leaning very un-perilously against one of the hotel walls. it doesn't look like much, even when he grabs it by the neck and pulls it from its sheath.
there's a golden gleam of a sharp edge, and he weighs it in his hand before turning toward her, the blade pointed at the floor. ]
Be forewarned, it will hurt ... But the closer you become to accepting whatever it is, the less the sword can affect you. [ a pause. ] It's interesting, isn't it? The sword draws out the truth, breaks falsehoods, and draws out corruption, but it's still considered a curse.
[ with a wave of his free hand, he offers it to her. ]
A testament to fragility, I suppose.
no subject
Just a second.
[ There was Ben to consider, after all. She had felt it from him. She touches her Magitek and it glows as she silently sends him a warning text. It wouldn't do for him to interrupt them, and she chooses to believe he would. Maybe she's wrong. Maybe she's lying to herself.
All the more reason to put a stop to it. Rey reached out to take the sword in hand. She sort of expected something instantaneous. A revelation. But Ben had been injured when she'd found him -- faintly, but injured. She turned the blade over in her hand. ]
You don't have to be here for this if you don't want to. You don't owe me anything.
[ Which is to say -- she could use someone probably. But Loki isn't obligated to do that, and she'll do it anyway. In fact, she raises her other arm and drags the blade along it -- a little deeper than necessary. It draws a trickling stream of blood that rolls down her pale skin, gathering in the rolled up sleeves of her jacket. ]